An adult circumcision in Romania – and its 'domino effect'.

Recently I discovered Circlist and I feel it worth to share my circumcision experience, as I was cut in adulthood, so I have the benefit of knowing both intact and circumcised status. Moreover, I have a lifetime experience, as I'm in my late '60s. And because this determined an unexpected 'domino effect' in my family.

I am Romanian ethnicity, and postgraduate educated. Married, with two children and four nephews. From my early childhood I was aware of my extra long foreskin. My playmates noticed and teased me with names like "Harry the Hose". At that age it meant nothing at all.

When I was 25, I married. No intimacy before the wedding. The honeymoon was almost great. Almost, because I noticed she was not quite comfortable with my huge extra cover. "Time will solve this" I thought, she'll get used to it eventually. But this didn't happen and after a year I could no longer stand seeing her struggling in discomfort. I thought several times about going to the doctor to ask for the surgical removal of that excessive skin. But here in Romania the subject of circumcision is some kind of a taboo, or at least seen as exotic and weird. No-no, this would generate endless waves of questions in a reluctant society. Just forget it!

The situation became unbearable. My wife never said anything regarding the problem, but it was obvious I needed to do something. So... I went to an urologist and we discussed the subject. He rejected the idea of a reduction (partial circumcision) and advised complete circumcision, with local anesthesia. I took a week off work and I entered the surgery room. "Something important", the doctor said. "The style of your cut," and he started to explain. I was too confused and excited to be able to understand much and I interrupted. "I have no idea, doc, so please, do it how do how you consider is best, this problem has to end now." Looking at me: "My choice you said... So I'll do it high and mild, like mine was done, ok?" I nodded and I climbed the two steps of the surgical table. The procedure took about an hour, listening to the classical music from the radio in the room. "You're done! You'll stay four hours in the recovery, then we'll see if you'll go home or will stay overnight." After four hours I was in front of the hospital, waiting for a taxi.

At home, I told my wife what I had done. She froze, shocked, for a couple of minutes but I gently explained what happened to my foreskin and why I did it. She was looking at my jewel wrapped in bandages and started to cry. Not for anger, but for gratitude. "Did you do this for me? You're... I love you!"

The (little to moderate) pain of the surgery lasted two days. The healing was smooth and quite fast. I returned to my office job without any difficulty. At home, for the next four weeks we examined the result: when flaccid, the glans was completely bare, the remnant inner layer of the foreskin folded back about one cm behind the rim with the scar very visible, but neat. When erect, about 1/3 of the shaft was covered by the inner layer, the skin was laying almost immobile, but not noticeably tensioned, the sutures clearly visible. (After about 10 years, the scar almost disappeared and only a very close exam reveals the cut line.) Finally, after a difficult period of waiting, we gave the brand new thing its first try-out. From that moment on, it was clear that our sex life just got on to a new, marvellous path!

A few years later, the children came. The first was a boy. Surprisingly, my wife asked if we shouldn't cut him as a baby. I disagreed, arguing that it would have to be his choice. When he grew up, we had several debates on the subject. I assume that my wife started them, even though she never said so. The result was that our son, on his early twenties, asked me to pay for his circumcision. Several years after that, I found out that my daughter had persuaded, probably with the help of her mother, her husband to do the same. Last weekend all the family reunited and the girls started a subject: to cut or not to cut their sons. Despite the unanimous feminine opinion regarding the benefits of operation, ALL of us decided finally that the circumcision has to be an individual choice.

I do hope this sequence of real facts will help any individuals or families considering circumcision for some reason, other than cultural or medical, to make a decision. I also do hope that my own experience will help the skeptics to admit that the circumcision brings very little discomfort and great benefits.

LC